A Florida man threatened to shoot up a bar just because the karaoke machine was broken. Awful, right? Maybe not. Especially if any of the tunes it was cued up to play were from today’s list of the…Top Songs That Make Us Wish the Karaoke Machine Would Break.
“Ice Ice Baby”. If people loved listening to Vanilla Ice, he wouldn’t be cleaning pools right now.
“My Heart Will Go On”. The Titanic gave us one tragedy. Don’t add another.
“American Pie”. Listening to this makes us wish the music died again.
“Tears in Heaven”. People come to karaoke night to sing. Not kill themselves.
“Baby Got Back”. You like big butts? We hate listening to you talk about it.
“Sweet Caroline”. Here’s who makes this song work: Neil Diamond in 1969. Here’s who doesn’t: You. Always.
“Don’t Stop Believin'”. Actually, stop believin’. Now.
Anything by Sarah McLachlan. Two words: Sad dogs.
“Friends in Low Places”. After listening to you ruin this, you’ll have friends in no places.